*Following last week’s post about the autism assessment, we have Arjun’s experience of going through the same process.
Thank you to Arjun for sharing his experience.
Enjoy,
-G
Arjun
Can you tell me what made you decide to pursue an assessment?
Work, mainly. I’m a software engineer, and I’d always managed by creating very specific routines. Same desk, same lunch time, same route to work, same order of tasks. It worked well enough that I never questioned it. But then we went through a major restructure. New team, new manager, hot-desking instead of assigned seats, agile methodology that meant constant changes to priorities. Everything I’d built my stability around disappeared, and I just… fell apart a bit. Started having what I now recognise were meltdowns, though at the time I thought I was just stressed. My wife had mentioned autism before, years ago, but I’d dismissed it. I didn’t fit my image of what autistic looked like. When I finally looked into it properly, after she brought it up again during a particularly bad week, I found your practice online and thought, well, let’s see what happens.
You mentioned being sceptical initially. How did that change?
I went in thinking the assessment would either confirm what I already suspected or tell me I was wrong. A yes or no answer, essentially. I didn’t expect it to actually teach me anything new about myself. But the level of detail was completely different from anything I’d experienced before. Questions about how I process information, what happens internally when plans change unexpectedly, how I experience emotions physically. Specific things I’d never articulated to anyone because I assumed everyone experienced them the same way. You clearly knew what you were looking for but weren’t leading me toward any particular conclusion. I felt like I was being genuinely ‘got’ rather than sorted into a category. By the end of the process, I understood myself better regardless of what the outcome would be, although it helped when the result came through and confirmed everything I had been thinking.
Where are you now compared to when you first sought help?
More settled, in myself and in my life. I’ve made changes at work, been more honest with my manager about what I need to function well. Got my assigned desk back, actually. My wife says I’m a bit easier to live with because I’m not constantly frustrated with myself for struggling with things that seem easy for other people. I’mw working on reduce trying to force myself to be neurotypical and started working with how my brain actually operates. Knowing why certain things are hard means I can actually address them properly instead of just pushing through until I crash.
What would you say to someone considering an assessment but feeling unsure?
I’d say your uncertainty is probably part of why you need to do it. I spent years gathering evidence in my own head, trying to be sure enough to justify seeking help. Reading articles, taking online quizzes, comparing myself to other people’s descriptions. But self-assessment only gets you so far because you don’t know what you don’t know. A proper assessment gave me something that my internal speculation about it never could. It asked questions I wouldn’t have thought to ask myself, and I got a lot from the process personally. And honestly, even if someone receives a different answer than they expected, understanding yourself better is valuable regardless of what label does or doesn’t apply.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience.
Really happy to. It’s been really useful and I hope more people come get this kind of help. Nothing changes overnight, but I’m going in a better direction now.
