Client Voices: Tomasz (Autism Assessment)
In the first of our interview series: Tomasz* has kindly volunteered to outline his experience of autism assessment with my colleagues and I at Alliance Clinical Consulting.
Our approach is very much a neuro-affirmative one focussing on understanding differences, needs, challenges, strengths, and helping people build a life compatible with their internal world.
I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to be part of a process in supporting him, and really pleased to see the progress he has made.
Enjoy,
-G
*Name changed for confidentiality reasons.
What brought you to seek an assessment?
I’d been reading about autism for maybe two years before I actually did anything about it. I moved to the UK from Poland about fifteen years ago, and for a long time I put my difficulties down to being an outsider, you know? Cultural differences, language barriers, that sort of thing. But then I started noticing patterns that had nothing to do with culture. I’d struggle in meetings even when language wasn’t the issue. I kept burning out in jobs that seemed fine on paper. I’d come home from work completely drained when my colleagues seemed to manage fine. My wife started pointing things out too, like how I’d need the whole weekend to recover from a social event, or how I’d get overwhelmed in busy supermarkets. Eventually I mentioned it to my GP, who was actually supportive, which surprised me. I’d expected to be dismissed, but she took it seriously and referred me on.
What was your main concern before starting the process?
I was worried I’d be dismissed, honestly. I’ve got a decent job, I function reasonably well on the surface. I can make conversation when I have to, I’ve got friends, I’m married. I thought someone would look at me and say, “You’re fine, what are you complaining about?” I’d heard stories online of people being told they couldn’t be autistic because they made eye contact or had a relationship or held down employment. I was preparing myself to have to justify why I was even there, to prove that my struggles were real. I’d made mental lists of examples, ready to defend myself. Walking in felt like going to an exam I might fail.
What surprised you about the assessment itself?
How thorough it was, but also how genuinely seen I felt throughout the whole process. There were questions about things I’d never connected to autism before. Sensory stuff, like how I can’t concentrate if there’s background noise, or how certain textures make me feel physically uncomfortable. How I plan things obsessively because uncertainty feels unbearable. Why certain social situations exhaust me in ways I couldn’t explain. Nobody had ever asked me those questions in that way before. You seemed to understand what I meant even when I struggled to articulate it. Even before getting any results, something shifted just from being asked the right questions by someone who actually understood what to listen for.
What would you say to someone who is in a similar place to where you were?
Don’t wait as long as I did. I kept thinking I needed to be more certain before seeking help, like I needed to have already diagnosed myself accurately before asking a professional. But the assessment itself helps you understand, even if you’re unsure going in. You don’t need to arrive with proof. And find someone who actually listens rather than just ticking boxes. The experience of being properly assessed was valuable in itself, separate from the outcome.
How are things different now?
I’m still processing the results, honestly. It’s only been a few weeks. But there’s less of that constant questioning of myself, that voice asking what’s wrong with me. When something’s difficult now, I don’t automatically assume I’m just not trying hard enough or that everyone else finds it equally hard and manages better. I have a framework for understanding my own experiences that actually fits.
